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I'm so fucked up and I just want to be normal with you." She said in my ear through her tears and emotion."Allison, we'll get you normal, and you and I will be normal. You have the tools to forget all of this and you and I will work this out. If telling me helps you, don't be embarrassed. It just causes me great pain to know what you've been through. I don't know how someone could treat a person they supposedly loved like this. You know now it wasn't love, right?" I asked."I know", she said, calming down wiping tears, "it was control ... Do you think you and I can ever be normal?" Allie, to me I never needed to know anything about your past, I was only interested in what I knew of you from the day I met you. However your circumstances have made it necessary for a person who wants to be close to you to be aware of the pain you've had to deal with. Now, we have to put all those fears behind you. You and I are now, and your past has to be forgotten. You know and I know that you'll never. They probably just want a peep show type experience where they can watch you strip and play with yourself privately so they can jack themselves off at the same time. They can’t do that in a regular show.”“Well, why didn’t you say that?” I said, relieved. “That I can do. I can do that tomorrow. I have no problem with that. It doesn’t matter to me how many men are in the room if we’re just talking about a regular show or some portion of one. That isn’t prostitution. That’s no different than hiring a stripper for a bachelor party.“But, you said ‘other services.’ I’m not sure I want to be a prostitute. I don’t know that I’m that addicted to sex.”“Well, I’m just looking at the big picture, A. Some of these guys will be just fine with jacking off with you and leaving it at that. But, somebody’s going to ask for more.”“That’s what we really need to talk about, then,” I said. “Do I let it go farther? Do I let them jack me off instead of doing it myself when I get to that in the performance?.
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